Why do we do it? Hahaha.
After finding this amazing picture on Instagram, I felt that I had to tackle my inner “Carrie Bradshaw”, to talk about this topic. It’s a very funny photo but I do believe that most women can relate to this picture in a way or two. Either you have been that loyal BFF to save your bestie or you’re the one that needs to be saved.
Now I’m not an expert but I do believe I might have some worthy life experience to share. So basically, I wonder why do we do this to ourselves? Or even worse how in heaven’s name do we end up in that situation? Most of the time this happens when we are in that state of mind of moving on and not texting/talking to that one weakness of our heart. In other words, that one person that makes your mind go “googoo gaga”. It’s like they can smell when you are so ready to move on and find a way to blind you again.
Is it because we trick ourselves that this time around he is going to be honest? Or because it has been a while since you’ve felt that person? Is it because deep down you are not ready to move on? Do you need closure? So many questions and no answers.
It all starts when you’re casually doing your own thing like meditating or talking to yourself in the mirror and then *The* sound goes off on your phone. “Hmm..” Is it whatsapp, snapchat, facebook message or any other crazy method to chat? So the preview notification shows the name and the “oh shit, shoot me now” face arises. Then the most important decision of your life shows up : ” To answer or not?” So what do you do? Choose another chat method to quickly tell/ask your best friend for advice. Which actually sounds more like ” Listen, I’m about to do something stupid, please stop me!” As it takes forever for your bestfriends reply, you already booked the appointment. Time to get ready begins. Oh yes! This is a process. Because besides the fact that fuckboys are jerks, they actually check every little thing! They are like the body police. So it’s a must to go-over every detail before leaving the house. Shaved/waxed? check. Breathe? check. Smell good? check. You have to dress sexy but not desperately needy sexy. Did you know that we can get ready in 10 to 20 minutes when it comes to fuckboys? Anywho, by the time your best friend answer’s “Don’t do it!”, your reply is “sorry, too late.” Because you’re already at his place.
Lord, it’s even crazier that as I’m writing this, there is actually a “lovie dovie” couple cuddling right in front of me. Is the universe sending me a sign?! Maybe it’s the illusion of this (picture below) what we are longing for even if it’s from the one person that fucks you over time and time again.
I totally get it though. Because most fuckboys have this cocky, confident and most gorgeous smile ever. It makes you melt each time he smiles with his eyes when he sees you again as if you’re “fresh meat”. If you’re lucky your fuckboy treats you well before any fun goes down. Wine and dine, small conversations to catch up and figure out what you have been up too, because obviously you’re looking good.
Lucky you, you lasted till morning. (Good thing you went to those spinning classes, helped you survive all night long.) The happy moment of waking up and spooning is still part of the show. It’s funny though that you know before hand that this happy moment will only be a moment. A few hours of fun and then you have to go back to being “normal”, well sometimes your going back to being sad when reality sinks in. If you’re lucky you will have some hours of gushing and glow when you tell your best friend about that amazing adventure.
Now I don’t know if there is any cure for this sickness. But what I can conclude from this experience is actually an advice given to me from my bestie, so I’m going to quote her for this. “Sometimes you have to make certain decisions that will hurt your heart but will ease your soul. I will never judge you. Just like God but it breaks my heart every time he or someone breaks yours”.
So, in the end, is it worth it? Is it worth getting a heartbreak for a few hours of soul satisfaction? Whatever your answer may be, just be sure to have a bestie just in case of emergency.