Trump can’t sit with us

Definitions for Donald Trump:
Pronoun.

  1. A racist orange man with a weird hairstyle who gets more votes for saying racist shit
  2. Another word for stupid, idiot, or moody.
  3. A trash bag of racial slurs with cheese whiz on top
    Donald Trump used in a sentence:
    1. When the hair in your shower drain comes to life and starts yelling racist slurs towards Latinos and Muslims most of the time.
    2. Donald Trump is almost like the Kardashians. It started and you were like; Oke this is gonna end soon. And then it’s still happening. – Chelsea Handler

    Related to Donald Trump:
    Adolf Hitler
    Racism
    Sexism

Source: Netflix, Urbandictionary, The Internet


For the past few months we have thoroughly enjoyed sitting back with popcorn watching the highly anticipating show of Trump’s demise. Whether it’s Memes, parodies, comedy sketches or sometimes even plain good old news, Trump bashing is everywhere.  And while some of us want to evade the subject, others are basking in the daily giggles. But now that Trump is the Presumptive Republican Presidential Nominee in the race to becoming the most powerful man in the world, things are getting a bit more serious. This all makes us wonder…what does the rest of the world think of Trump?

Since politics is such a drag and the only reason we are following these elections is ‘cuz we want in on the scandal, Olivia Pope style; we want to keep things simple. Let’s pretend the world is a high school and Trump is about to win the crown for Prom Queen.

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When it comes to the Middle East, lets be honest; ISIS is scarier than a woman scorned. The Middle East is like the scary goth you bump into in school hallways, that no one messes with because she owns a pet tarantula and lets it crawl into her mouth just for fun. Not only is the bitch cray cray, she actually embraces her psycho bitch within;Which means that in this fight, she has nothing to lose. All i’m saying is if Bush wasn’t a favourite, brace yourself if Trump gets the crown. She is planning to give Trump a whole lot more than a pig’s blood bath if he wins, obviously this would be highly inappropriate.

And then there’s Europe. Even though Europe is known for valuing Freedom of Speech, a line is drawn when it comes to Trump. But how does Europe feel about Trump becoming the new president of the United States? Let’s just say Europe does not like Trump, he’s rude, obnoxious and misses a whole lot of class. So while other parts of the world have a strong opinion on the matter; Europe kinda ignores the presence of Trump altogether, he is that irrelevant.

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So let’s talk Latin America. Even though Trump’s problem with Hispanics is more so with the Mexicans, Latino’s take his words to heart seeing as he probably can’t tell a Mexican apart from a Cuban.  Latin America is the hot chick everyone loves to hate, she is smart and sassy and most of the time no one understands a word she says. But hey, boobs so who cares. But now that Trump is the mean girl trying to get her kicked out of the Prom Committee, lunchtime is a huge drama. You see, Latin America is the Gretchen Wieners to Trump’s Regina George; and while they seem to have a good bond, there is always some tension there.

When it comes to Asia it’s a tricky situation. It so happens to be that, EVERYTHING is made in China. So when Trump messes with China, he is messing with pretty much everything we own except the air we breathe. Asia is like the straight A student who makes everyone’s homework voluntarily so the school ranks high on academic performance; do we want Trump to fuck this up for us? She may smile and try to politely respond to Trump’s bullshit, but let’s just say things can go from 0 to a 100 real quick.

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So why is it important to stay informed on the 2016 U.S. elections?

You see the badass, intelligent and creative hustler you are should always have an opinion on what’s up with the world. So ask yourself these questions.

  • Could Trump’s spread of Islamophobia provoke wars and trigger attacks?
  • Is the war on Islam only helping the Islamic State?
  • Muslims living in western countries are those who suffer the most when it comes to the discrimination and closed-minded prejudice of Islam.

Will building a wall that separates Mexico and the U.S. create more dangerous crossing conditions that could have deadly consequences? Can Trumps initiative to ‘bring back jobs to America‘ from China and Mexico cause a Trade war that could plummet Global Trade? Making Mexico pay for a wall and putting tariffs on Chinese and Mexican import could lead these three countries to fall into recession. Could this cause stock markets to plummet and economic growth in Europe to shrink? Hell yes it will. Not only would all this damage international trade agreements, but are you willing to pay double the price of the smartphone you’re holding right now?

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If all of this would make America great again, is the rest of the world willing to pay the price?

 

This post is highly racist and stereotyped…oops.

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